Weekly Roundup

June 1st, 2024

Gentlemen.

Today is June 1st and with it comes the beginning of Gay Pride month. As some of the older (and younger) Owls still have a difficult time reconciling the changing of societal norms, the Club has compromised and this month we will celebrate Gray (Grey?) Pride in honour of all the Club members who have varying degrees of monochrome tint in their hair. We have the obvious suspects like our “Mane Man” Steve Piggott who sports GQ quality gray (grey?) locks. But we also have the slick bright gray (grey?) like Bill Greatorex. We have the salt & pepper gray (grey?) hair and beard like the impeccable Seymour Wood. We have the untamed gray (grey?) fibres of Garth Burns. We even have the “we know it’s there, but we ain’t gonna show it” gray (grey?) of Don Ellis and Shane Carson. A note to Andrew King, Chris Fourgnaud, and Joe Zareski – you will eventually have gray (grey?) hair and look smart and dignified, like Bert Loveless. Even racehorses will “Seize the Grey” like the winner of the Preakness Stakes two weeks ago. Anyway, the Club has been busy, and it’s only gonna get busier. Let’s get to it.

The Owls Club celebrates Gray Pride month.

The name selected in this week’s TGIF draw was the once whinny and bitchy Gord Hayward who collected a solid $200 doubloon. I say once whinny and bitchy because for 14 ½ years he complained that he never wins the draw, yet in the past two years his winning streak rivals that of the Kansas City Chiefs, Manchester City, and Donald Trump…wait…never mind. Anyway, Gord announced that there was $5.00 on the bar for whoever could get there first. So, while everyone raced to the bar, he sucked back their drinks. Gord is smart, astute, and savvy. With the $3.50 Gord won earlier in the day at crib, he can start paying back that $...,000.00 he spent riding a train for three days through the Rockies. And the draw balanced again, which is a crock because I was there when Gus, Howard, and Jim found an extra $0.30 in the box.

Gord Hayward steals Mike Lawlor's beer.

This Thursday, June 6th will be the monthly business meeting at 7:00. There’s a lot to talk about as the last few meetings were a lot like Gary MacNeil – short.

Next Saturday, June 8th sees the return of Lobsterfest to the Club. Both the Lakeview Room and the Members Lounge will be utilized as we have over 100 members and guests attending. It’s probably not a good idea to wear you Sunday Best as eating lobster usually involves oily butter, shards of shells, and mysterious green goo. Festivities start around 5:00 pm with the meal set for between 6:00 and 6:30.

Two weeks later, on Saturday, June 22nd, the club will be hosting Ladies Night where members and guests are encouraged to wear their Sunday Best. The meal will be maple glazed salmon or beef Wellington and is paid as part of your membership dues. When signing up, a ticket will be issued for your meal so that Fred Dobson and the gang can get the appropriate amount of each. In past years people think they want the fish but ultimately go for the beef. Speaking of which, if two vegetarians are having an argument, is it still called a beef? Or would it be a rhubarb?

Salmon and beef on the menu for Ladies Night.

July 8th will be the annual golf tournament. There is a sign-up sheet at the top of the stairs leading to the Members Lounge. The venue is Grandview Golf and Country Club. Jack Leedham will have the details in the coming weeks.

Jim Featherby reacts to his par three triple-bogey.

Spotted Owls. John Chisholm made his way down to the Club for Friday’s TGIF.

Richard Barteaux and Jeff Conrad were comparing old navy stories at yesterday’s TGIF and talked about the time they were tied-up in Antwerp. Apparently, they weren’t talking about the ship.

The Club’s Ontario Emissary Doug Marshall finally figured out how to register for the Club’s new web site. Actually, it was his wife Lorraine that figured it out. Doug and Lorraine have mutually beneficial symbiotic relationship. She cooks, cleans, does the groceries, mows the lawn, takes out the trash, changes the oil in the car, sets up appointments, does the laundry, and walks the dog. And Doug sometimes thanks her for it.

A typical day for Lorraine.

The work on the seawall is moving along nicely and there’s only 19’10” still left to finish.

With the start of June, comes the end of “No Mow May” which was just an excuse for people to be lazy. The bees don’t give a damn if you mow the dandelions and other assorted weeds. Even the Club’s resident lawn and critter expert, the aptly named Peter Bugden, says lawns should be kept in unblemished condition through the spring months.

Now that May is over, Dave Zareski can mow his lawn.

A quick note regarding our Sick and Visiting Chair Dr. John MacDonald. Unfortunately, John suffered a small stroke earlier this week and has been in the hospital. We wish John a speedy recovery and hope to see him soon.

Errors and Omissions.

Another sound grammatical and spelling performance by the scribe again last week, though the content could use some refinement.

Club Grammarian Don Ellis was not required this week.

References.

·         Beef and rhubarb are alternate terms for an argument. As a vegetable, rhubarb is gross.

·         Antwerp is a port in Belgium known for its industry, naval yards, and tawdry women.

·         The colour grey is the British spelling, while the color gray is the American spelling. 

·         Manchester City is a soccer (football) team from the city of Manchester. The English are very creative with their team names.