November 30, 2024
Gentlemen.
“♫Feed the world, let them know it’s Christmas time again♫” If you want to feel old, that song was recorded forty years ago this month! This may come as a shock to most people, but there are more Christians in Africa than any other continent and Ethiopia has 77,000,000! Anyway, things are tough for a lot of people around the world, so remember that this holiday season.
Sting and Bono, the stupidest names in music, sing
Do They Know It's Christmas.
Apologies for missing last week’s roundup. I had meant to get it out after the cribbage tournament so I could add it to the update, but didn’t get it in due time. Plus, I sat with Mike Lawlor and Shane Carson last week and they just sucked the life out of me. So, this week we’ll have an expanded version.
TGIF DRAW
The name selected in last week’s TGIF draw was the Kaiser himself, Colin, who took home a cool $93.00. Ok. Just kidding. The Kaiser was AWOL and didn’t collect anything. That $93.00 was then carried into this week’s draw where the name selected was Gary MacNeil. Unfortunately, Gary was hit by a car seven times last week trying to cross the road to sign into the draw; thus, was not present nor signed in and did not collect $136.00 prize. After a third straight week of balancing the books, the membership screwed-up badly this week. Thirty-seven were signed in, yet the transparent box had only $72.85. And there was a cluster of American quarters. Weird.
Gary MacNeil had a rough week.
UPCOMING EVENTS
Sunday, December 1st.
The first annual Owls Club Christmas party will be held tomorrow afternoon starting at 1:00 pm. There are about 140 people signed up, so it looks to be a BIG event. Hopefully all those kids will drink a lot, and the bar will make a killing. Ashley Merrick will be making a fish chowder, while Joe Zareski will be supplying chili. The kids will be getting liver and onions with a side of broccoli. Santa promises to make an appearance, contingent on meeting his parole conditions – he got in trouble for confusing “ho, ho, ho” with “hoe, hoe, hoe.” If he can’t make it, a prominent Club member with an interest in stock car racing, can readily fill-in the gap.
You're not Santa, you're Gerry Pring! And you smell like beef and cheese.
Thursday, December 5th.
The monthly meeting will be starting at 7:00 pm. With last month’s meeting pre-empted by a turkey dinner, it will be important to have a quorum.
We'll need a quorum at the next meeting.
Sunday, December 8th.
F-U, No! F-1. Next Sunday is the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix, and Joe and the gang will be serving-up a race-day brunch with pancakes, bacon, fruit, etc. Yum. The race starts at 9:00 am, and food will start to be served at 8:00. Plan on having a few coffees and Bailey’s at just $5.00 each. Most importantly, this event is free!
♫Here he comes, here comes Speed Racer,
He's a demon on wheels.♫.
Tuesday, December 17th.
This is the day that we celebrate the births, and subsequent years, of Tim Olive, Dennis MacDonald, Zen Graves, Terry Arsenault, and Butch Milne. The busy schedule that week necessitates that the celebration with the birthday gents may need to be held with the boys in January. The crowds have been sparse the past two events and more participation is needed, or Birthday Boys may be off the list.
There are five Owls celebrating their birthdays in December.
Wednesday, December 18th.
The Presidents Reception. This annual Club Christmas event is always well-attended and is one of the highlights of the year. It’s also a symbiotic relationship where the Club members, wives, partners, and widows show appreciation for all the hard work Gus put into the Club the past year. In return, Gus chastises the members for all the “bullshit” that he had to put up with over the past year, especially from the likes of Fred Myers, Mike Dort, Paul Dares, and Dave Mattatall.
Friday, December 20th.
“♫ Could have been the whiskey, might have been the gin. Could have been the three or four six packs…♫” Actually it could be any of the ingredients necessary to manufacture moose milk. Do not make plans for Saturday, December 21st as the previous day’s TGIF will render a member into oblivion.
Wednesday, January 1st.
The last event of the Christmas season will be the annual Club levee. The details are still in the planning stages but expect a good time.
Friday, January 10th.
The Club’s second annual Burns supper will coincide with that week’s TGIF. Hosted by Fred Leafloor, this event allows Club members to dress like women and eat sleep’s pluck. The details will be forthcoming in the next few weeks.
The heart, liver, and lungs of this fine animal will be consumed on January 1oth.
CLUB NEWS
Gord Hayward will be selling cookies next week supporting the Rotary Club. On a side note, there is a push by the new City Council to change the name from Rotary to Roundabout. The cookies will be $25 and come in a really nice tin.
Still on Gord, both he and Chester surprised the membership with pepperoni at yesterday’s TGIF. And Chester went even further by bringing in his famed pickled eggs. That allowed all the members eating pepperoni to fart with impunity as the smell was simply blamed on the eggs.
It was a tough night at the Club.
Congratulations to Fred Dobson, John Hilchey, and Shane Carson for repeating as champions at the annual six-man cribbage tournament held last Saturday. They bested Gene Mattatall, Steve MacDonald, and Dave Gibson in the final. A big thanks goes out to Roy Rozee for organizing a great tournament.
Hail to the Champs. Congratulations on a big win.
It’s never too early to get your dues into the Club. A reminder that this year Club dues are $450.00 and that includes the Ladies Night party in May/June.
It's Due Season!
SPOTTED OWLS
Jim Featherby was back at the Club at last week’s TGIF after a significant bout against a viral opponent. Jim was also one of the seven people in the province to vote Liberal on Tuesday.
Garth Burns was also at the Club at the past two TGIF’s and is on the mend.
Doug Marshall made a special trip to see Blair Craven and found his way to the Club for the November’s Birthday Boys party and last week’s TGIF. Apparently, Blair had him over for cribbage and wine, but with Doug’s behavior, it was more like cribbage and whine.
THEY’RE OFF THE LIST
On a positive note, there were no significant passings the past two weeks, though the Liberal Party of Nova Scotia was left for dead last Tuesday. Not since the federal Tory debacle of 1993 has there been such a political massacre. Houston is about 2,600 times as big as Churchill and it looked like it on Tuesday.
A MESSAGE FROM PRESIDENT GUS
“Vous, les idiots anglais, êtes paresseux et inutiles, tabarnak!”
HEALTH & WELNESS
There’s some good news on Mike Thomson as he is doing much better. Howard had a bit of a setback this week, but we still hope to see him at the Club soon.
CLUB BANTER
Steve Piggott cleaned himself up over the past two weeks and stands firm as the Mane Man.
Steve Piggott back in law school.
ERRORS AND OMISSIONS
There were no mistakes in last week’s writeup as there wasn’t a writeup last week.
REFERENCES
· Do They Know It’s Christmas was a song written by Bob Geldof of the Boomtown Rats and Midge Ure of Ultravox to raise money for famine relief in Ethiopia in 1984.
· “♫ Could have been the whiskey, might have been the gin. Could have been the three or four six packs…♫” was the course (coarse?) from the 1980 hit Wasn’t That a Party by the (Irish) Rovers.
· Speed Racer was a 1970's cartoon character immortalized in the movie Slapshot.
· Houston is a city in Texas. Churchill is a town in Manitoba.
All for now.
Comments