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Stephen Ellis

June 29, 2024 Weekly Roundup

June 29, 2024

 

Gentlemen.

 

On July 1st, 1867, the United Canadas, Nova Scotia, and New Brunswick were merged into a federal dominion known as Canada through the British North American Act. As such, the new country declared the yearly anniversary to be Dominion Day. This was happily celebrated until 1982 when a bunch of political hacks with nothing better to do decided that the country’s population was too stupid to comprehend basic history and that Canada Day was a more appropriate moniker. Either way, July 1st gives us an excuse to drink all afternoon and then get mom to tell the kids that daddy’s too drunk to take them to the fireworks. Anyway, this Monday, Happy Dominion Day, er Canada Day. Let’s see what’s up at the Club.

Monday, July 1st is Canada Day.


1)      The name selected in this week’s TGIF draw was either Jim or Mark, but we’ll go with the Latter. Unfortunately, Mark was neither present nor singed in and did not collect the $48.00 prize. David Mattatall was ecstatic that Gus and he were able to balance the kitty as 40 people signed the sheet and $80 was in the box. Kudos to the members on this monumental grade two arithmetic accomplishment.

 David Mattatall reconciles the weekly draw money.


2)      Monday, July 8th is the annual Club golf championship at Grandview Golf and Country Club. There are currently ten teams registered. The event is open to members and teams can be supplemented with friends and family. The cost is $90.00 and that is paid at Grandview the day of the tournament. The dinner, where all the losing teams get together to blame each other, costs $80.00 per team and is paid to Jim Featherby so he can misplace it. You can pay Jim at the monthly meeting this Thursday or Friday’s TGIF. Feel free to bring door prizes to the event. Everyone is to meet around 12:00 at Grandview on the 8th, but Jack will finalize that next week.

 This group has had a two-month head start on the rest of the teams at the Club golf tournament.


3)      Spotted Owls. It was great Laurie Bell to make his way to the Club last Saturday for Ladies Night. Another Owl making an appearance was one of the Club’s Padres, Sandy MacDonald, who led the blessing of the meal at Ladies Night.       

 

4)      The aforementioned Ladies Night, which was actually an evening, was a tremendous success. Some women behaved themselves, which was nice to see, and the members were true gentlemen, especially Shane, Jeff, and Sean. A big thanks goes out to Fred Dobson whose organization was sound, preparation astute, and patience remarkable. And thanks to everyone else that helped throughout the day and evening. The bar sales for last week’s TGIF and Ladies Night were over $2900.00! Cheers!

Bar sales were brisk this week.


5)      A reminder that this Thursday, July 4th, is American Independence Day, but it’s also the Club’s monthly meeting. We barely achieved quorum last month, so make your way to the Club, just like we’ve been doing since 1930 (or is it 1931). The fun starts at 7:00 pm with Peter Bugden’s rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner” and ends about an hour later with a 20 people desperate to be chosen as the mover of adjournment.

 

6)      Following the meeting on Thursday, members are invited to join Seymour, Joe, and Steve in the Members Lounge for training on the new web site.

 Who wore it better? Charles Winchester or Kim Conrad?


7)      The July Birthday Boys will be held on Tuesday, July 16th. The past two events have been deficient in participation and without member’s support, the event may (will) go by the wayside. Owls celebrating their hatching include Gary MacNeil, John Hayden, Bill Greatorex, Rick Powell, Laurie Bell, Gord Hayward John Chisholm, Jim Schreuer, Ken Gillis, Steve MacDonald, and Kevin Saccary. All those great folks are here because their parents got cozy the previous November. Let that image sink in!

8)      Deep thoughts. A member wanted to know if you can have sex with someone and not love them, but love someone without having sex with them? Yes. One’s a hooker and one’s your mother.

Typical Owl celebrating their birthday.

 

9)      Another member was wondering the definition of irony. Irony is getting stuck in an elevator with the woman of your dreams and having the trots.

 

10)   Natal Day is fast approaching, and Gord Hayward has been reduced to begging for people to help with the parade. So far only Don and Steve Ellis have volunteered to help, and they’re about as reliable as a Ford Tempo in the winter. The sign-up sheet is on the bulleting board at the top to the stairs in the Members Lounge. Here’s a great idea. When you come to the meeting on Thursday, the TGIF on Friday, or the birthday party on the 16th, grab a pen, pinch it between your thumb and index finger (in the hand you write with), and sign your name on the sheet.

 

Proper signing technique.


Errors and Omissions

 

Eagled-eyed Club Grammarian Don Ellis noticed item 7) had George Elliott “ate” yesterday’s TGIF. Obviously, it should have been “at”.

 

References

 

The Star-Spangled Banner is the national anthem of the United States written in 1814 by Francis Scott Key as Baltimore (specifically Fort McHenry) was being bombarded by the British during the war of 1812. The tattered flag of the Union stood as the Fort was defended. Ironically, 210 years later, the Francis Scott Key Bridge was felled by a wayward container ship.

 

Star-Spangled banner circa 1814.


 All for now.

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