Gentlemen.
Welcome to the weekly update, castigation, and history lesson. This week we’ll chat about some BIG upcoming Club events, insult some members unfortunate enough to be near the scribe, and learn about a couple rock bands nobody has ever heard of. Let’s cut to the chase, shall we?
1) The name selected in yesterday’s TGIF draw was the Elephant Man’s cousin Ashley Merrick. It seems Ashley’s been a frequent winner the past little while. This time he walked away with not-to-shabby $50. However, Ashley had put in an extra $2.00 of which Garth Burns was the recipient, so he profit was scaled-back to $48.00. Our Mane Man Steve Piggott was the first person signed in on the sheet, but noticeably absent from the Club yesterday. There’s no way he had better things to do than hang with a bunch of slugs down at the Club.
Ashley Merrick takes home $50.00!
2) This Tuesday, August 20th will be the monthly birthday boys party for fifteen of our fellow Owls. It will also be the annual neighbourhood lawn party for friends, family and folks in the area commonly known as Austenville. The festivities have no real start and finish time but aim to arrive around 4:00 pm. Hots and hams will be on the menu and the drinks will be available on the lawn. Right now, the weather looks a little dodgy, but fingers crossed. It there is a cancellation, the event will happen the following Tuesday, August 27th. A notice will be sent to the members through email Tuesday morning confirming or deferring the event.
Catch the Owls Club Band this Tuesday afternoon.
3) Speaking of birthdays, today, August 17th, 2024, Greg Baker celebrates his 75th birthday. This is traditionally the birthday where a person receives a gift of diamonds. Well, the best he’s gonna get from the Club is cover versions of Neil Diamond songs on Tuesday afternoon. Not to be forgotten, Shane Carson is 52 today. As such, Shane will be taking B-52 shots while listening to the B-52's and wondering why Eldon will be jumping out of a perfectly good B-52.
Here's Eldon with his skydiving instructor.
4) The monthly meeting on Thursday, September 5th will coincide with the annual Club memorial service. The ceremony will begin with an informal gathering in the members lounge at 5:30 pm with the ceremony set for 6:00 pm. This is a shirt and tie event, and members should wear their blazers or dress suits with their Owls emblem and pin. The monthly meeting immediately follows the ceremony.
5) Hut! Whereas most people think the quarterback is the most important person on the snap, it’s the center who needs to be acutely aware of what’s going on. The most famous snapper, with apologies to Sharon Stone, was the palindromic Jim Otto of the Oakland Raiders. Anyway, the most important person on Sunday, September 8th will be Chris Fourgnaud who’s roasting some serious swine for the folks attending the opening day NFL party. Festivities start in the morning with games on the lawn and the Red Zone will play all afternoon on the big screen on the lawn. Joe needs to know who’s coming by August 23rd, so respond to the email invite that was sent or sign up on the sheet in the members’ lounge. Hopefully Steve Piggott will be there, because he wasn’t at the Club yesterday.
Never mind Where's Waldo? Where's Piggott?
6) He’s Off the List. This one’s a little bizarre. When I heard that Jack Russell passed away on Thursday of this week, my immediate thought went to what dog? The most famous Jack Russell being Eddie of the sitcom Frasier fame. But as I delved further into it, I learned that Jack Russell is the frontman for the band Great White. Still never heard of him. Well, Great White was the band playing when their pyro-techniques malfunctioned at The Station nightclub in Rhode Island back in 2003, causing a fire that put 100 people off the list.
Eddie, the world's most famous Jack Russell.
7) The Thinker. There’s a lot of wisdom that goes unnoticed by Club members and it’s probably time to acknowledge some of that sagacity. Yesterday, Jim Featherby and Don Ellis inferred that a “happy wife leads to a happy life.” Indeed. Not to be outdone, Chester Wyman claimed “idle hands do the Devil’s work”. But the most profound statement came from an unnamed Owl who said “Bill McLellan is so open-minded, his brain fell out.”
There's some brilliant minds at the Club.
8) Kudos to Tim Olive for pressure washing the stairs at the Club this past week.
Tim Olive dons his best Archie Bunker wife-be.....err....muscle shirt and cleans the stairs.
9) Spotted Owls. It was great to see Jack Oland at the Club yesterday. And it was good to see Dave Gibson playing cards at the Club yesterday.
10) Speaking of cards, Steve Ellis bagged a 28 hand in the Friday cribbage matches. Gord Hayward claims he was shaking when he was counting it because he couldn’t contain himself. But that’s not true. He was shaking because he forgot to clear the history off his computer before his wife got home.
Steve Ellis snags a 28 hand and still loses.
Photo Courtesy of Michael Brownlow
11) Fun Owl Fact. Mike Currie once slept in a cave with Joni Mitchell for four days.
"Help me, I think I'm falling in love again."
12) Sean Clancey has a great new coif, but it’s still no match for Steve Piggott, who was absent from the Club yesterday.
Errors and Omissions:
· So, the weekly roundup actually comes out on the website a few minutes before the link is sent through the email and I often catch the mistakes while the roundup is on the site, but before the email. Well, last week the sentence…“kudos to Richard Barteaux for running the barbeque…” originally said…“kudos to Richard Barteaux for ruining the barbeque…”
References:
· Joseph Merrick was colloquially known as the Elephant Man. He has often been misnamed John Merrick.
· The B-52’s was a mildly successful 80’s New Wave band whose hits included Rock Lobster and Love Shack.
The B-52's. Interesting fact. The B52 shot was named after the band, not the bomber.
· A B-52 shot consists of Kahlua, Grand Marnier, and Bailey’s. Damn! That sounds good.
I know what I'm drinking tonight!
· There’s no real answer to why the football is snapped to the tern “hut”. There are many thoughts that it came from the military term “Ten. Hut!”
· A palindrome is a word or number spelled or sequenced the same backwards as frontwards.
· Sharon Stone famously “revealed herself” in the 1992 thriller Basic Instinct.
Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct.
· The Thinker is a famous sculpture by Auguste Rodin depicting a nude male hero, though most Club members still consider John Holmes our greatest nude male hero.
· Joni Mitchell was once an attractive, talented Canadian singer-songwriter. Now she’s a bitter, talentless American has-been.
All for now.
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